Are you hanging in there?

That is truly the question for the ages. Am I hanging in there. If you mean by my fingertips of the ledge of the worlds tallest building. I would have to say yes, but for how long I am not sure. I am always good at putting on a front and pretending all is well in my world. That is how I made this far. Sadly, there are cracks developing in the facade. The real me is starting to show. People will soon be able to see my fear, my confusion, my inability to stop eating, my inability to pull myself up out of bed. They will soon see I lack strength. This pandemic is really making it all worse. I am overwhelmed by the constant barrage from the news media and what is all over Facebook and Instagram. I feel like I can’t get away from it. I have enough problems as it is, I don’t need anymore. This Queen’s crown is quickly slipping and will soon fall to the ground.

I know if I want a clean house I will have to clean it. I know if I want an organized life I have to organize it. I know it won’t all be done at one time, that it will take baby steps. I know it will all start with one step forward and then another followed by another. I know at first I will be full of anxiety about where and what to start with. I know that anxiety will be reduced as I keep moving forward and making progress on my goals.

Will I make it through, yes. I am confident of that for one simple reason. My faith. My faith in God and that he is by my side at all times. That he is caring me at my weakest moments and loves me unconditionally. That is the one thing I hang onto even in my darkest hours.

Be safe out there, wash your hands, keep a safe distance when around others, and wear a mask when out and about away from your house. Have a great day!

Your Royal Purple Queen!

Published by Candyce

I am a mid 40 year old woman who has dealt with depression and anxiety most of her life. I am married and the only baby I have is a 6 year old rottweiler fur baby. I have been a volunteer EMT/FF for 24 years.

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