Disappointment

This week has been a meh kind of week. I haven’t managed to get anything done at home. I have literally slept most days until noon. I would wake up around 7 or 8 and be awake for a few minutes but eventually went back to bed. I worked the evening shift all week so when I would get up it was just me and the dog. I would get home and all were asleep so it was me and the dog. No one called me except once.

That is the first disappointment. My only phone call was from my husband to find out if I had talked with anyone from the state or the attorney’s office. He wasn’t happy with my reply. Of course he wasn’t happy with me at all at that point. There have been some financial issues that I will admit were my fault. I am not that great at communicating especially when it is something close to me or something that makes me feel insecure. Finances make me feel extremely insecure. So we didn’t talk at all till last night. I had had it. I made sure I woke him up when I got home. Not sure if that really solved anything but at least it broke the silence.

At work all week I have been making mistakes that create issues. I am at a point in my training that I have been basically taught all that I need to know. Now I am working on getting quicker and smoothing out the edges so to speak. This week there have been a few blunders that just gave me headaches. Things I knew but made the mistake without thinking. I know you need to be able to take criticism but sometimes the tone of disappointment in your trainer/co-workers voice is enough to undue you for the night. Luckily tonight is our Friday. I have picked up overtime this weekend and even next week.

So needless to say really is that I have disappointed myself as well as others and at no time did it feel good. I just had to hold my head up high, admit to my wrong doing, figure out how to handle it in the future, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Emotionally, mentally and physically I have been in pain. Here’s to a new day.

On another note, please don’t panic over the COVID-19. Yes, it is serious. Know the symptoms, wash your hands, stay home if sick with anything, and use a kleenex if coughing or sneezing. Try not to touch your face and I would suggest not shaking hands. Fist bumps are good. If you are not sure about something contact a medical expert with an actual medical degree. Stay safe folks!

Your Royal Purple Queen

Published by Candyce

I am a mid 40 year old woman who has dealt with depression and anxiety most of her life. I am married and the only baby I have is a 6 year old rottweiler fur baby. I have been a volunteer EMT/FF for 24 years.

4 thoughts on “Disappointment

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