I have been in a mood lately and I am trying to figure out why. Oddly I think I have worked it down to lists. Yup, I am blaming lists for the reason I have been in a funk and had an attitude. Well to be honest its not the only reason but for now this I will pick apart.

I work shift work. I switch between 7:00 Am to 3:00 PM and 3:00 PM to 11:00 PM. I work for six days straight then I have three days off. I just came off of my three day break. I am currently on the 3:00 Pm to 11:00 Pm shift. On my days off I had lists, long lists of things I wanted to try and accomplish each day. The lists in and of themselves didn’t seem to be that daunting. I tried to be realistic when I wrote them and what I truly could accomplish in a day. As each day passed I realized there were things that needed to be moved onto the next day or even things that wouldn’t truly be handled until next week.

Some things didn’t get completed due to not getting up when planned or simply not doing what needed to be done. There was the lists though. Sitting on my phone taunting me. Now here is the interesting question. I love making sure my calendar is up to date and organized. It doesn’t feel the same though as the list. Is it possible to feel like an inanimate object is like a mean old teacher leaning over you as you do your lessons. As I write this that is how I feel about my lists. Even when I think of just writing down the things I would like to do or need to do. Sadly I sit here and think how crazy I must sound being bullied by a list I created.

Your Royal Purple Queen!

Published by Candyce

I am a mid 40 year old woman who has dealt with depression and anxiety most of her life. I am married and the only baby I have is a 6 year old rottweiler fur baby. I have been a volunteer EMT/FF for 24 years.

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